So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.
Rape has become endemic in South Africa, so a medical technician named Sonette Ehlers developed a product that immediately gathered national attention there. Ehlers had never forgotten a rape victim telling her forlornly, “If only I had teeth down there.”
Some time afterward, a man came into the hospital where Ehlers works in excruciating pain because his penis was stuck in his pants zipper.
Ehlers merged those images and came up with a product she called Rapex. It resembles a tube, with barbs inside. The woman inserts it like a tampon, with an applicator, and any man who tries to rape the woman impales himself on the barbs and must go to an emergency room to have the Rapex removed.
When critics complained that it was a medieval punishment, Ehlers replied tersely, “A medieval device for a medieval deed.”
- Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof
REBLOGGING THIS. x1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
A medieval device for a medieval deed - yes.
This is perfect
ah yes. my gender is blue with pink leg
so this is killing me cause my mind immediately thought.
and this is why im not allowed to be part of actual serious discussions.
i DONT UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL I KEEP IMAGINING
I feel particularly close to this one:
THIS POST GET’S MORE FUCKIN HILARIOUS EVERY TIME I SEE IT!
I made a thing aswell.
I’m so done right now
Forgive me, I don’t recall ferrets being on the list of acceptable creatures to bring to Hogwarts.
I HAD THE SAME THOUGHT
They’re Harry Potter’s kids. I’m sure they could bring a fucking giraffe to school and it’d be fine.
Omg that comment.
They will also be allowed to join the Quidditch team during first year and apparate on school grounds.
The forbidden forest is just the forest to Harry’s children. There is no curfew. When Harry Potter’s kids see teachers out of bed they scold them. Hogsmeade permission slip? I think not.
‘Have you done your homework Albus Severus?’
‘No. My father defeated Voldemort’
‘Albus Sverus, go to bed’
‘You can’t tell me what to do.My father was the chosen one.’
‘Potter what are you doing in the girls labatory?’
‘fuck you my dad did it’
‘Potter! Did you put your name in the goblet of fire?’
‘Yeah bro you got a problem?’
‘My father’s going to hear about this’
That moment when Harry’s son turns into Malfoy
This is David Reale. You probably have no idea who he is, yet he played one of the most famous characters of the twenty-first century.
He is Glen Coco.
god hes hot
you go Glen Coco
what did the mama pig give her baby pig for its rash?
pigs are commonly known for rolling around in dirt, but there’s a reason for this. Pigs skin is very sensitive, the harshness of their environment can result in rashes and often sunburns. Pigs use mud to help relieve pain and protect their skin. Since piglets are even more delicate, mother pigs will often roll their pigs in mud right after birth.
NO THEY GIVE THEM OINKMENT